Beam vs. Mote

Jesus is trying to teach the people to not be judgmental. He tries to explain what happens when we judge others:

"1 ...Verily, verily, I say unto you, Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." (3 Nephi 14:1-2)

He explained that when we judge others, the same type of judgment comes. I think the biggest problem that we have when we try to judge others is that we don't really know their full set of circumstances. We might feel like we know enough about the situation to make a judgment, but we don't really have the full picture. Not only that, but our judgement is tainted by our own experiences and life. It is said that we are our own worst critics, but we often overlook or justify things that we do as well. Christ explained with a brief parable that he would best understand, growing up in a carpenter's home:

"3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother: Let me pull the mote out of thine eye—and behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye." (3 Nephi 14:3-5)

I have always had this funny mental picture in my head when I think of a beam in someone's eye, like a big board sticking out of someone's eye. You know, it's so cumbersome that every time they turn their head, the beam swings around and around, causing all sorts of damage. A mote is a little dust particle. Now, dust in your eye can hurt, and sometimes you need help getting little things out of your eye, but would you ask someone with a big wood beam sticking out of their eye, both obstructing their view and also making it difficult to even get in a good position to help. So we must first get the beam out of our own eye before we can really be effective in helping others with their motes.

This is the truth behind us not being judgmental. When we try to judge others, we are seeing them and their situations through the lenses of our own situations, with all of our bias, ideas, and flaws. We need to work on ourselves before we could ever even hope to be helpful to others.

I try not to act judgmental, but I know there are a lot of situations in my life where I am, especially in my home with my own family. I probably justify that because I know them better than I know anyone else, but I still don't know everything. I can think of a lot of ways that I am hypocritical, especially with my kids. Hopefully I can start removing my beams before I try to help them with their motes. That is the right way to do it.